“I wish I could fast forward through this.”
Let me explain. I had a CD that became quite a big hit with my class. But my old CD player was on its last leg. All I needed and wanted to do was play #3. Nothing more. Nothing less. But the skip button was broke. So in order to do that, we had to listen to the preceding songs. Then I had to be on my game to either hit pause when #2 ended so I could play what we wanted at the right time or have the kids attention and ready when #2 ended and #3 was about to start. But as you can imagine being in a room full of kids and distractions trying to listen intently to hear at just the right time to hit the pause button is nearly impossible. Impossible friend. I found myself missing the mark every time. And each time I started the CD over to go through the process again, I would say, “I wish I could just fast forward through this.” Because waiting is not easy. It’s frustrating. And skipping through is so much easier. So.much.easier. Amen?
I came home from a fantastic week of VBS where we focused on facing fear and trusting God with grace on my heart. I was thinking about that phrase and repeating it in my head, “I wish I could just fast forward through this.” Thinking about that skip button, I began to remember how a few years ago I would have done anything to fast forward through my life. Anything. But looking back now, I can tell you there was grace there in those hard days. I can tell you with assurance there is grace in delay.
I will be completely honest with you. When you are in the middle of a storm that is a phrase that doesn’t come to mind easily. But it’s truth. That’s why I am writing this. To remind myself. This is not the first or last time I will face a trial and want to skip through it. So I speak truth to myself. Because I don’t want to go backwards. I want to remain where God has me. Because there is purpose in pain and trials.
Romans 5:3-4 says, “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint.”
Waiting is not easy but there is grace there. It produces something. And how I respond in the wait, in the trial, has everything to do with how God will work in it and through it. Although everything in me wants to skip through hardships, I am learning to pause. Not skip. And listen through all the distractions. Learning that while I want to fast forward and just get through it, God is more concerned about who I will be when I get there. And it’s in those times I draw close to Jesus. Depending upon God to provide and work in immeasurable ways. I have come to know He works everything out for good for those who love Him who are called according to His purpose. Not from head knowledge, but by remaining steadfast in the trial. The grace is in the delay. In the developing of my faith. In the developing of who He wants me to be.
“Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do to get what we want. Waiting is a part of the process of becoming who God wants us to be.” –John Ortberg